Limes and Lemons

 Nothing says a job well done than passing out on the way home and yet still maintaining balance long enough to not crash into a power line pole you are veering towards.

Not today Satan!

But I still managed to rip my shifting cable for my rear derailer, so my bike at the end of the night went from a 12 speed to a single speed. That was a bit of a grind back home to be sure. The good people at Cycleworld Miami managed to get Silvana (crossrip1) Trek back and running like a beast, but the happiness only lasted as long as I was able to not give her another ding, and a nice one she got when she slipped along a pole I locked her up to. Well life is a bitch and you only get lemons, then you complain to the manager and tell them you ordered limes and then they tell you sorry there is only limes here in the life store, so you go home with nothing. Here is something to get sour about...

What was the plan here?

 Speaking of sour, cycling in the city more than a 'passing through' has brought about a bit more bitterness towards traffic. Now did I know people in Miami are bad drivers? Yes of course, but did I understand how bad? I was unpleasantly surprised.

Now was I helping, nahhh....

Getting Miles Getting Money

  Having a couple of days of delivery under my belt I can make a bit of an assessment for anyone interested in doing this kind of work, especially for UberEats. When running around you notice how agile a bicycle can be compared to a car. Traffic is far more terrifying, you even start internally running a cost benefit analysis of whether or not you should make that turn or wait at the light, whether you should filter, or play it safe losing time. Time is your enemy, and the layout of the city usually doesn't help, especially the older parts of the city.

Also, fuck wind.

What is the plan here?

  Now I know what your gonna say, "Carlos, just hop into your car and get around faster!" Now I'm gonna tell you, "You don't know shit about parking and one way streets." I noticed that the better markets (where a lot of people use the app) are in the saturated parts of the city, that means sub-burbs are deserts, and your sooooo thirsty.

so.... hot...

I honestly cannot see myself doing this kind of delivery in a car, maybe a scooter, but a car? Hell no. In downtown there is so little parking that anyone pulling off to the side (even to drop off a passenger) gets the ire of all around them. 

so, salty

I did notice that many restaurants make accommodations for delivery cars, but the pick up and drop off part of this work is so much faster with a U-lock and pole. Even so I have seen pairs of people working the delivery circuit, dropping off the bag person while the driver circles around, it is a solution, but now you have to divide the spoils of the delivery.

ALL MINE!

In heavy traffic there is no beating a bicycle, and when you are hard pressed to pull off a deadline, the agility and size of a bike makes traffic a laughable obstacle. 

Enjoy your cages cattle

I noticed some clients whom the order is in a business, order  a bit earlier than the time their lunch is scheduled. More often than not I surprise them, once I even arrived earlier to a location than the customer to their own job. The way traffic is here in Miami, delivery in the city with a car seems like a arduous and painful experience, the road rage alone wouldn't be worth it, at least to me (and if you have seen my videos I have plenty of rage already).

I'm not a complete asshole though....

We all working ourselves into a coma...

More videos are coming down the pipe, make sure to shoot me a like on these videos and I will post some more delivery videos soon, till then!

I Am a Courier Now

  It has been a long time since I have posted here, well now I'm back. Being an art teacher, artist, and self styled master pencil sharpener have taken a bit of time for me to get used to. Now that things seem to run themselves now, I am able to devote some more time back to this blog, super cool. But I must still paint, that I must do.

All day, erray day

Finally I am finding a bit of time on the side to try something that has been on my mind since I started cycling, becoming a courier. 

pretty much

While there is not much, if any demand, for postal rush or same day messaging, there is a lot of lazy rich people that want food, and do not want to mix with the rabble on the streets. Uber has allowed me to service these people, and service them I shall. 

So I signed up to be a Delivery boy for UberEats, and I was one of the few cyclist that picked up the bag. Now I am not saying there aren't any food cyclist out there, I see them all the time in places like Wynwood, Brikell and Downtown Miami, but the surprise I got when I walked into the Doral Uber Headquarters (two guys at a table in a sprint store) was a bit telling. 

My first couple of deliveries where pretty easy, made a bit of money to pay off the deposit for this giant box they want me to strap to my back, and even got a tip (didn't think that was an uncommon practice, rich people don't tip apparently). The interesting part of being a cyclist with a deadline is you push, you push hard, and running around with a place to be and a task at hand is a good motivator for a destination cyclist like myself. Also it is as if I am exercising, and Uber is paying me to do it. 

My Body is Ready

Doral is notorious for having horrid traffic, and surprisingly no cyclist capitalizing on this to make swift filtering to delivery heaven! I'll be posting some of my delivery expereinces and videos when I gather some more highlights, for now, here is a happy/sad thing that happened on a commute the other day.

Cute Ducks here

Kiss My Ass Miami

  Funny thing about Miami, we have some of the highest rates of car collisions in the nation. It seems that when we aren't too busy running down pedestrians or hood surfing cyclist, we love kissing each other's ass. And boy, do we enjoy a long drawn out fender bender, I like to call it the Caramel nose nudge. Or the tropical coconut; whatever tickles your fancy, We are so good at having accidents that we have some of the highest insurance rates in the country, as well. Why bring this up? Every time I place my bike on the rack to transport it, I always feel as if I have a huge target on my back.  Every time I think this, my worst fears are usually realized.

nooooooooooo

  I had "Phil Jamis" hanging on the bike rack off the trunk. He was minding his own business while I was engaging in some errands with the Abuela. I barely even lurched out of my neighborhood and some idiot overdosing on meds decides to get behind the wheel and give Phil an rough hug against our cars.

#GETFUCKED

  When all is said and done, I have had too many bad experiences with dealing with  insurance claims where my bicycle is involved. We'll see how this plays out but, in the meanwhile, here is some damage porn for you fiends. 

  I am not saying that there aren't times when cyclist is involved and the car is on the receiving end, but what I am saying is that a cyclist always loses, weather he is on the receiving end or giving, it's just physics at that point.

Momentum x Fuckery = Sadness

  Even so, aside the dangers and the ridicule that is a constant bombardment on my commutes. I do my best to let the slights slide by the wayside, but some of my more popular videos are of me losing my cool, which is regrettable. In the moment I have the intent of scorning them with some hope of educating them about the laws that govern cycling and cars. But I know all I end up doing is seem like some angry prick of a cyclist than some educator. Many of these drivers genuinely believe they have done nothing wrong in most cases, and might brush me off as having road rage. 

#feels

  I compiled a video showing an average commute in the mean streets of Miami. My commute crosses 3 cities, starting in South Miami, bridging through Sweetwater ( which I loath) and ending in traffic laden, bumper burdened Doral. Different sections of 107th ave have their own unique perils and challenges.

All day erey day

  Until next time, makes sure to shoot my videos a couple likes and give the channel some subscription loving!

The Slowest Rebound

It has been a long while since I have done a video and I am still in the importing and rendering process of my current ride. It has been a hefty, muddy trek to get back into the saddle while maintaining a good work ethic; gotta make sure I can afford life's important expenses.

We all know Chipotle, we all know

Recently, I had my bike tuned up, finally utilizing  a swaggy new set of wheels I purchased as a gift to myself. The first ride, after the tune up, was a bit of a torrent of  happiness. The ride was too good to be true and karma wanted to make sure I paid what I owed. It was useful to find out the hard way that my wheel-set is bombproof.

This is a bit harsh karma...

When I was shifting into a higher gear, my rear derailleur caught a spoke and proceeded to promptly stop my bike in the middle of the street-in traffic- fundamentally destroying itself and the brand new chain I just got in the tune up.

Snapped clean off

Rectifying my rectum that is, as the tune up, after everything was said and done, ended costing me over $200. Granted, this is the second time around Thomas and Calvin accommodated me and even waved a bunch of charges since the bike just came clean from the tune up. We all agreed this should not have happened. 

Thanks Calvin and Thomas of Cycleworld Miami for rectifying the situation!

On that note, here is one of many videos down the pipeline. With working at a small business and all the things that come with it, many of the posts will be far more spread out. Please know I am doing my best to crank them out!

A ride with Cycleworld Miami

If you're a commuter like me and want a pair of pants that are fit for cycling, comfortable and stylish for business, check out Rozik outfitters! Good stuff! 

Quick and slick!

Never The Same River Twice

What I love most about Miami is that you never drive the same road twice; the traffic is always shifting , always flowing. I never have the same experience on the wild roads that are in Miami and Doral, so many things temper the course. Holidays, rush hour, school dismissals and the ever present road construction all play into a dynamic and terrifying commuting experience. I have noticed many a thing while playing road outcast in the south of the sunshine state.

Pretty much most of Miami's response

There seems to be a sweet spot in the traffic, at least its flow, where I feel most safe. But there are some sections with just the right combination of elements that I feel the most threatened. Let us say there are 4 types of traffic: Empty, Light, Medium and Heavy. Empty is a good road to be on; no cars and, if there are any, very intermittent and they usually give you a wide berth when passing, which is awesome and always appreciated. In Empty traffic, I can move the bike at a comfortable level and I do not feel the need to push myself that hard for the most part.

So happy!

Light traffic and Medium traffic are the diciest ones for me. Most of the "Almost Hit" Series is me in this kind of traffic. With more cars all vying for space, trying to aggressively one up each other, and swerving around, this traffic makes me feel like I am in a giant coffee grinder. I am not even exaggerating. Miami is one of the worst cities with the worst driving etiquette ever. So aggressive and so pointlessly antagonistic.

We gotz to stop at the red light first....

By far, the best traffic is Heavy traffic. All the cars are stopped, or moving slowly, and they have little to no room to out maneuver each other. They are stuck, and are practically being herded by the lights like cattle. I honestly love this traffic because it brings me a slight schadenfreude when I filter past cars in parking lot conditions.

Past...or into...the point is, I'm faster!

Filtering is a bit of an art in urban cycling and one that I am still practicing. The law is actually a bit unclear on cyclist filtering in traffic, and, well, cycling laws in general here in Florida are unclear and vague. 

Like animals in cages...

Many of these traffic conditions are also important and play out in group rides as well. When you are hammering down in a tight group, the last thing a cyclist needs is an ignorant driver trying to squeeze past, pushing the group dangerously close to the curb. The driver needs to know that it is better to wait a bit instead of having a squad of cyclists under and over his hood.

Get it!

Show your appreciation by liking and subscribing to my videos and make sure to stay tuned for the next couple of group rides I will be posting!

New Year's Push

I have some content and announcements in this post! First off,  I would like to thank everyone who has viewed, commented, and shared my blog and videos. This really means a lot to me; especially after one of my videos crested 1000 views! This is fantastic, and of course, leave it to fate to  make my least worked on video, my most popular. So goes the whims of my audience, and so must go my media. This video is the precursor to the "Almost Hit" series way back when I felt the need to document the horrible passing and negligent drivers while I cycled; I strapped an old Canon Powershot onto my head and let it record. Without further adieu, my first 1000-view video!

Really guys, really?

Second, I want to talk about cycling safely and driving around cyclists. Look, I know when you see a cyclist doing his thing you might think, "Look at that fucker; that smug, fit asshole, flaunting his fitness and gasoline savings in my face. I'll give him a good buzz for being in MY LANE!" You proceed to accelerate to a speed above the posted limit and swerve to a clearance, around a foot, well against the law, but then said cyclist swerves to avoid a pothole, a manhole, or even a possum. Right now you have a cyclist surfing on your hood and it is your fault. Or perhaps you want to park your vehicle in that really wide shoulder with a bike symbol on it so that you can quickly step into the Cafe and grab a colada or cortadito. Guess what? No cyclist will be responsible for their keys jingling out and scratching your car as they try their best to swerve around your swole ego.

Cyclist sometimes have bigger, heavier things that may impact a car negatively.

Here is the truth of it all: when approaching ANY road user from behind, you are occupying THEIR lane; it isn't yours and, if you hit any cyclist, you have a lawsuit on your hands; at best jail-time. At worst? A murder conviction . Furthermore, when you occupy a bike lane, you are impeding traffic and thus making the streets unsafe.

Look at this asshole, following the law!

Luckily for me, I do not have a heart stopper of a video to post; the holidays have been very kind to me. It has been really great weather this winter here in sunny south Florida and, with it, great rides and, for some reason, more patient drivers!

Yay for more pleasant cycling!

I also have some group ride videos down the pipe and a vacation compilation! So stay tuned for all that good content! Let me know what you think, or show me your appreciation by liking my videos and commenting!

Everyday Grind

  There is something about breaking a spoke on a ride that brings an interesting mix of horror, shame, and confusion. It's a simple thing that makes sense to break but it's a cost to fix unless you have the right tools. No novice or new cyclist has these damned tools. You aren't going to get that spoke fixed unless it broke on the right side or on part of the wheel that isn't near your cassette.

The hell is going on with this thing?

  It seems as if I am always at Cycleworld. I was even asked if I wanted a campfire; I just needed to know who I should pay rent to. This made me take a hard look into my finances and, as much as I enjoy supporting my local bike shop, I am just an art teacher, not actually a profession one gets rich whilst doing. So, with a can-do attitude, I purchased my own chain whip and cassette wrench to assist in further spoke problems...

Maybe I should invest in a motorized vehicle, and give little fucks about lights?

   Sure enough, a week later I utilized my tools when not one, not two, but three spokes needed to get replaced; two in the back and one in the front. The look on the mechanic's face when I came in for more spokes...Well, it was the same look of disbelief that I was sporting. 

Dammit Phil, this wheel set is costing more than it is saving...

   I figured it out soon enough to get my baby up and running for the next day's group ride. The process was a bit of an experience to get everything working; so much so that I left it to the professionals at Cycleworld Miami to double check that the wheels were good to go. 

Looking back, I really should stay off the sidewalk....

Thanks again to Cycleworld Miami and to all the mechanics that took time out of a very busy day assisting triathletes to tend to my wheels! If you like this or any of the other posts, don't forget to follow, like, or even comment! Look forward to a couple of group rides down the pipe and an "Almost Hit" highlight. This one is very dodgy, too! Until next time!

Coming soon!

Happy Thanksgiving!

 Just wanted to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving today. I hope everyone will be safe and merry, and will do their best to be courteous to retail workers (best if not even shopping honestly).

Every person that deprives a working class retail worker a holiday, are awful...

On That note I do have a couple of posts on the way, so keep that in mind. With Finals coming up and new semesters on the way, me and the editing team (The Misses) have been very busy trying to square away work and school whilst trying to keep this forum updated and relevant.

So punny!

 So two new posts are almost done, and will be released, on the soon side. Look forward to a great post about the trials and tribulations of commuting in Miami, and then another group ride! This last group ride with my friends at CycleWorld Miami, good people. Also another two Blog posts being edited, compiled, and written up as we speak, hooyah! 

So I would like to close with a very happy Thanksgiving to my baby sister out in California, I miss you, and I love you Prissy! Also a very Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends and family that I do not get to see as often as I would like. Of course happy Thanksgiving to all my readers and followers, thanks for all the support!

The South Beach South Point Park Pier

Not sure about this sign to be frank

  After a late night, (and later morning) I mustered
 "Phil" Jamis Ventura. Recently I had refreshed his bar tape, added a rear wheel (that matches its front), and a Shimano cassette and chain to match. I even threw in a pair of matching bottle cages, that I have been in need this whole awful, sticky, hot summer, and with that another Polar Bottle.

Mmmm, dat fresh cassette doh

On I ventured, unsure, scared, hell, even a little nervous without my GoPro, it's usual gift boost in confidence and sense of protection gone. I utilized my phone camera instead. Snapping and remembering to do my best to keep the thing handy.

or it is just a plastic brick in my hand...

I pushed off, away from the trappings, and safety of my home, and into the wild that is the Miami Beaches. More specifically, South Beach. With no particular plan, I headed into a general direction until I crested the famous Venetian Causeway, and spurned through Washington Ave, until I ended at the southernmost point of Miami Beach.

Muh boi propped up on dat der pier...

swanky view, of a plastic swanky city...

This is frowned upon in Miami Beach

There is a couple of videos and posts to look forward to. The next "Anatomy of a Group Ride", with more illustrations, and another video. Also I just completed my third group ride, this time, with the folks at Cycleworld Miami. So look for that post as well.

coming soon!

Make sure to check back for updates and to take a look at Rozik Apparel should you need a nice shirt or pants to commute in. As an added bonus, you use the promo code DIRTBAG and you get 20% off your entire purchase. Not bad if you ask me, until next time!

Window Service

  The thing about being a cyclist in Miami, is the never ending shitstorm, that is the drivers, in this city. I have even been so cynical, and bitter, that my friends are starting to worry. Well, shit, I guess it is high time I let these driver's know how I feel.  Even ran into a police officer, and well, he was just as ignorant.

My face when the Internal Affairs Department tells me I cannot complain about an officer's conduct, behind an advocacy group... "TravellingDirtbags", I would need to come in to the station myself and present the video... Sounds like a trap...

Well aside from the new video, I have a couple of other edits down the pipe, so stay tuned for that stuff. Also make sure to rate and subscribe to the video or even leave a comment if you liked it or even disliked it.

Not this time asshole...

A pleasurable ride to the beach without my GoPro! Oh the the ridiculousness and the fun! Look how wacky this sign is WOAHH!

Some of the most touristy crap we got here in Miami

Feels weird, Man

Props to the cameraperson Hey-knee

For the past month I have been cycling the mean streets of Miami without my GoPro 3+ Camera. It isn't like I haven't cycled camera less before, it is just that as a cyclist you feel a lot safer with one on, and when something goes down, you have that camera rolling and documenting, instead of having to scramble and grab your phone to take a quick pic of their license plate.

This isn't even half of them..

Also many drivers that almost hit you, rage at you, or even almost kill you, for the most part, get off without even so much as a blurry picture. In Miami, it is common place and even officially encouraged to hate, discourage, and threaten critical mass (a protest for safer, bike friendlier roads). This disdain for Critical Mass has translated into rougher roads around the Little Havana area, and more impatient drivers elsewhere. I wholeheartedly approve and on occasion have participated in Critical Mass. I have however confronted bad drivers who have retorted "I am sick of you Critical Mass guys!" or "You cyclist think you can own the whole road and can stop intersections!". I have to ask, is the message getting across, will we get more infrastructure, will drivers respect cyclist more so? I do not know, but my year of documenting my cycling adventures has only taught me two things, Miami isn't getting better, and everyone is real camera-shy.

I miss you baby...

Cycling with out the GoPro has come around as a bit of a curse. This camera was like my insurance, my deterrent, and even if I got killed, I would at least get the guy on camera and hopefully justice. With out it, well, its kinda a bumbling mess. I feel far less confident, I still confront drivers, but I am now more concerned over the futility of the gesture, so I yell at them, they see no possibility of repercussions, and laugh it off. 

This is pretty accurate in Miami...

I miss the weight of you upon my head sweet camera prince...

  Being the stubborn one that I am I still haven't stopped cycling, I might even whip out the old canon powershot and get that one rolling to at least have some evidence, should anything go awry.

And things can get awry real easily.

Well shit.

  Hopefully I'll be able to (at least for the most part) avoid serious injury. Keep a heads up for some of that long distance touring that I have been announcing for a bit. I will try to get a handle on the Naples Tour, the Key West Tour, and the Everglades Tour. With work and family, I am doing my best to move those posts forward so stay tuned for that. Also make sure to check out Rozik if you are looking for some good pants and outerwear for commuting, also, type in DIRTBAG as your promo code and knock 20% off your total. Until next time!